I am an idiot
...an online dating blunder par excellence
SOMEBODY please tar and feather me. On the 3rd of April, I sent a message to a lovely young lady on OK Cupid. On the 5th of April, I got an enormously long message from a rather odd seeming person who really didn't seem suitable: I was very busy at the time, and didn't even get to the end of the message. A few days later, I checked my smartphone to see another message from OK Cupid. I looked, and the user-name was one that I recognised, and I concluded that it was Ms Long Rambling Message again, and, being even busier than the last time, didn't respond or even look at the message.
This evening, I was checking through the "quiver matches" with which it sets one up and noticed a little pink icon in the top right-hand corner of the browser window, being the sign for new mail. I remembered what had happened before, but wanted to open the message so that it would re-set the pink icon so that it only appeared if I had actual new mail. I then realised, to my horror, that the second mail was not from Ms Rambling Message at all, but from Ms Lovely of the previous occasion, to whom I had sent a short message, and she had replied in delightfully witty fashion. On the 9th of April. Nearly a month ago. And I haven't sent her any messages since. She must now think that I am a complete idiot, and she may well be right.
Excuse me while I find some tar and feathers...
18 remarks:
Just answer her with apologies. You're busy. She'll understand.
My suggestion exactly. Apologize and then request a phone conversation. You are flaying yourself way too much over this.
--JAC
I agree with JAC.
You are worrying way too much about this! Apologise, and talk to her on the phone as soon as you can without sounding needy or desperate to do so.
Thank you for your comments and support - but why the headlong rush to telephony...?
Honestly? Because it serves a number of purposes. Firstly is gets you talking to her and stops you hiding behind the medium of email. Secondly it will help build up your confidence too. Finally, it will be easier to make a light hearted comment about missing her initial email on the phone, and you will be able to gauge from her reaction how to direct the call.
I agree with the previous comments. Online dating can get a bit wonky with all the technical pitfalls of technology, and I'd definitely cut a guy some slack for little mistakes like this. I make these mistakes all the time, so I wouldn't judge a guy for it.
As for the phoning, I think that it also shows how contrite you are that you're eager to move your banter to the phone.
Best of luck with whatever you decide to do!
Have to say I agree with the telephone plan. That shows that you are actually sorry about missing her message and marks you out from the masses who will be relying on email.
I am always a little bit more impressed by a man who calls me rather than just texts/emails.....
I'm in with the camp supporting a call.
Whether new at the technology or truly busy in life and not paying close attention to the new system of OKCupid, a call would give you points...and an email message a month later...meh....not so much. The "headlong rush" could mend first impressions and if there's no love connection, you've still been first class about it.
If she's as great as you think she is she will be completely understanding of the situation. Reconnect with her at once!
Coatman, what's been going on? Did Ms. Lovely get back to you? Are you head over heels in a new relationship and that's why you've been MIA? Inquiring minds want to know! :)
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I agree much better on the phone, you'll hopefully know after a call whether you should meet. It's much easier to get your personality across
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